Wednesday, May 26, 2010
late nights and early mornings
I've had a lot lately. I try to sleep but my mind won't stop rolling through worries and ideas and it keeps me up. When I do sleep it is quite restless, I have aweful nightmares and wake up crying or screaming. In the early morning I wake up and my mind continues to play out things that worry me. I've lost control a little bit and I just want a restful night. I want my heart and mind to be at peace.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Take a Look
This week David and I are looking for a house here in New York close to Fort Drum. We want something that is clean, nice, has a yard for our animals (three dogs and one cat.), everything up to date and meets all the codes and standards, something within a thirty minute drive to post and something that we both love. We are working with a relator and are setting up an appointment to go and look at a house about thirty minutes away. From the description it sounds like something that will work really well for us. Buying a new home is definately exciting, but super scary. Its a big step in our life together and we both cant wait! Here is a link to see the house that is our top favorite: http://www.slcmls.com/realtor/summary/short_summary.asp?Code_ID=B%E4%28j%FA
Go and take a look, let us know what you think.
Go and take a look, let us know what you think.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Starting Life.... for real this time.
Its been a long hard year. When I look back and really think about it, I hate the person I was in 2009. I made so many mistakes, some of which can never be fully reversed. I hurt the people I love and let them down countless times. I thought I was doing what was good for ME, but I was wrong. I was being selfish and stupid. Not one thing that I did "for myself" benefitted me or anyone else for that matter. One thing that I can say is that I learned alot about myself, about love, and life.
In this past year, I learned that I can be who God intended for me to be if I am truely seeking after him. This doesnt mean I just go to church and put on a happy Jesus freak face and pretend that I am doing well. It means I earnestly seek after him, I read my bible and pray daily and dig deeper than just the surface of being a "christian." I live my life as though Christ himself was physically walking along side me. I listen to the still small voice that discerns right from wrong. Above all, I love with unconditional love to God, to my family, my friends, and even those who have wronged me.
Love is a big word. It is hard to grasp the full meaning of the word when it is just a word. You have to see it in action. After all, love is a verb. It isnt just a discription or a feeling, its something you have to DO. This year the word love to me was taken very lightly. It was something that I could use with anyone and not really understand what I was saying. I got to see love in action when I went to Alaska to visit David's family. The love that they carry is so amazing, it can only be from God. It is unconditional, like no matter what I did or anyone else did they had this pationate love for them. They wanted what was best for me and for others. Not only did I get a taste of how God can love through others but I got to feel the intensity of direct love from my heavenly father. At the church I attended for the month and a half the holy spirit was so welcome and was invited to every service. This was something I had not experienced before. I would go to a service and just feel the love of God, it felt as it was literally breathed into my heart. This brought back a passion for life and I began to take back control of mine, what satan had destroyed God began to rebuild.
Life is something I was just living, dragging on day after day. I was bitter and cold until love brought back life. I am not focused on things of this world, like clothes, money, and looks.. those things literallly mean nothing to me. I found what is most important to me. God, love,family, friends. I know what road of life I want to head down and I know how to get there now. I know how to fight my own battles and how to stay strong in hardships without failing. I love life. I will be brave and I will do what is right.
In this past year, I learned that I can be who God intended for me to be if I am truely seeking after him. This doesnt mean I just go to church and put on a happy Jesus freak face and pretend that I am doing well. It means I earnestly seek after him, I read my bible and pray daily and dig deeper than just the surface of being a "christian." I live my life as though Christ himself was physically walking along side me. I listen to the still small voice that discerns right from wrong. Above all, I love with unconditional love to God, to my family, my friends, and even those who have wronged me.
Love is a big word. It is hard to grasp the full meaning of the word when it is just a word. You have to see it in action. After all, love is a verb. It isnt just a discription or a feeling, its something you have to DO. This year the word love to me was taken very lightly. It was something that I could use with anyone and not really understand what I was saying. I got to see love in action when I went to Alaska to visit David's family. The love that they carry is so amazing, it can only be from God. It is unconditional, like no matter what I did or anyone else did they had this pationate love for them. They wanted what was best for me and for others. Not only did I get a taste of how God can love through others but I got to feel the intensity of direct love from my heavenly father. At the church I attended for the month and a half the holy spirit was so welcome and was invited to every service. This was something I had not experienced before. I would go to a service and just feel the love of God, it felt as it was literally breathed into my heart. This brought back a passion for life and I began to take back control of mine, what satan had destroyed God began to rebuild.
Life is something I was just living, dragging on day after day. I was bitter and cold until love brought back life. I am not focused on things of this world, like clothes, money, and looks.. those things literallly mean nothing to me. I found what is most important to me. God, love,family, friends. I know what road of life I want to head down and I know how to get there now. I know how to fight my own battles and how to stay strong in hardships without failing. I love life. I will be brave and I will do what is right.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Georgia
one boring lonely night in georgia, as usual.
Im in Georgia visiting my husband. I got here a month and one week ago for his graduation from basic training. Im coming home on Monday. Its going to be a long long drive but well worth it to see my family. Im going to miss David. He has to stay here in Fort Benning to A. wait a month to start RIP or B. go to world wide hold over to get his duty station. It may be a month or two who knows.. but it will be good for both of us to focus on things we need to do, for him, training, for me, school.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
LDS Dance! :)
Oh boi! What a night! I went to an LDS dance tonight. bahaha. I wore black dress pants and they made me wear an icky black skirt. haha. i felt way lame but I had alot of fun anyway. :) I got to help cut the edges off of pictures, play with balloons and I even got in a dance or two.
After taking weirdo pictures.
oh my! what a night!
me being weird!
weirdo!Friday, February 13, 2009
Babysitting!
My baby sister is almost 5 whole months old in two days! She is freaking adorable and I love her! Tonight I got to babysit her and we took alot of really cute pictures! I am sure going to miss her growing up when I move away! :( but i will get to see videos and pictures. :)
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